Thinking Blog

Wraith’s Post

Hurray for me, I think.

Yeah I do think, a lot.

How ironic for me to win the thinking blogger since I am against thinking, isn’t that what God invented cigarettes for?

To keep us from the addiction of thinking?

My friend Aaron saying to me years ago, “I started thinking when I was about 14, and since then have been trying to figure out how to quit.”

I imagine this meme was invented by one of the many who are caught up in the western worship of intellect.

Not that I believe that thinking is entirely worthless, I just think it is entirely worthless when it isn’t balanced with feelings, like compassion, love, respect, empathy.

Just when it is not balanced with introspection into the heart, with questioning and curiosity, what is my heart telling me, what are my eyes seeing, vs. an analytical approach.

Not when it is not balanced with courage. The courage to release fear, to step into the unkown, to be truly awake and not a reactionary pawn of the status quo.

Why this bee in my bonnet about thinking?

Because thinking can be a defense, a retreat from the real world.

Thinking got me adopted.

It was the logical response to difficult situation that I was born into.

It was my grandfather’s drug of choice, an intellectual retreat abused to the extent from what really mattered.

Don’t believe me read Johnathan Swift.

Anyway, when I was young, I had a curiousity about everything, including people who lived on a darker side of life, there was an expression I learned, “Having heart”

It didn’t just mean have feeling, it did mean have passion, dignity, street smarts, respect for one’s self. Someone with heart stuck up for themselves, stuck up for their friends, could be trusted, had integrity.

Was tough, took risks, and of course, subverted the dominant paradigm.

Was a good egg.

The biggest compliment you could give, so I am subverting this meme a little bit, I am giving this thinking meme to some bloggers who have got heart, which trumps the head, because the strong heart gives us the best of ourselves.

Heart hid Jews from Nazis

Heart led the Civil Rights Movement

Heart listens to bastard/adoptees and our moms.

so with no further ado:

elizabeth
The first person who I saw claim her natural mother as her mother, out of respect for her loss, for herself, who got me to confront what I had been running from my whole life, that I missed my MOM not some mythical birthparent creature, she cut a path way back to myself AND sent me to Paris.
Thank you E.

my mother
A woman who has been through hell with me, we are working on the way back. We have experienced so much pain with each other, and yet still we are here, risking, learning and growing. Dear universe please let us have more acceptance, more relaxation, let us have some respite and peace, and continue to offer us support, it helps us find ourselves and it gives to others.

Jesse

She is young, she is dewy, she is learning. She is accepting herself. She is forging ahead in a reunion which is not easy. She is making huge steps, she is healing, she is risking, she is so adorable and wonderful I can hardly stand it. The girl has heart.

kim she was the first mom I met on line, she came to my blog when it was all weak and seedy and said I am linking you.

When I didn’t know about moms. When I was lost, like a kind mother lamb, even though she is close enough in age to me to be a sister. Who held my hand through many fights, and misunderstandings, with my mom, who took my side and made me feel strong, who reminded me to still be kind to my mother anyway, who made a special post intended for my mother to let her know she wasn’t alone, who was sensitive to also try to not make my mother feel singled out. Who tells the funniest and most inappropriate adoption jokes. Oh God, I am crying now. Thanks Kim for making me cry, ha ha just kidding. What adoptee can not heart Kim though?

Wait where is Julie?

Julie

A pioneer I am sad to say, and yes I am sad to say pioneer. Because pioneers are lonely. Didn’t you ever read the Oregon trail? Or do we just read that on the West Coast, how the few and brave and slightly crazy the trail blazers are, you know the whole Donner’s Pass thing. It is a big deal where I live. They take the school children out there and try to explain the history, all the while the children are asking, “is this where they ate each other? this exactly? Is this where they ate each other?” Kind of like adoption, where the different members of the egregious triage eat each other. She is a visionary, she carries on, she blazes our trail, and makes it easier for us, Let’s give her some of the love back that she has given us. Thank you for helping me feel sane Julie, thank you for your heart.

Addie

Addie,

For God’s sake what would I do without Addie?

She is smart, she is cool, she is funny, she understands the gap, she saves my life.