Suz and Jane and Lorraine have had some interesting thoughts about privacy and blogging about adoption.

Lorraine decided to take some comments down because they were speculative about her granddaughters motivations, they were mostly well-meaning comments, and some very insightful ones that were offered generously from adoptees about how their own experiences might provide understanding into Lorraine’s granddaughter’s feelings. My own comment wasn’t particularly insightful but rather snarky, not directed to Lorraine, but another comment. True confession: I *personally* have never been offended when Lorraine has taken one of my comments down because well, the world can live without some of my comments well enough and sometimes they definitely exemplify my most impulsive and bolshie self instead of my contemplative and kind self.

Surprisingly, at least to me, I got v. triggered by Suz’s post. That hit home a lot more because I saw it more as particular point of view, and am quite unproud of my comment, not v. articulate, but Suz was gracious enough to answer me and it got me to thinking as things that make one uncomfortable often do. I don’t see discomfort as necessarily a bad thing, I see it as what has often been a catalyst to deeper understanding in my own life. It is a challenge, but when met often comes with clear and tangible rewards. Of course I don’t like it, but it has its purpose.

Thinking on that and the fact that I am one of a handful of people who have blogged with her mother aware that she was blogging and my mother blogging about her own experience as well, I thought that puts me in a rarefied position to weigh in on privacy issues and adoption blogging. Both my mother and I share a desire to see adoption reformed, both my mother and I agree on the fact that my adoption was totally unnecessary. My mother was not unfit, not unloving, not uninterested but rather unsupported, railroaded, and was suffering the slings and arrows of a culture that was influx, it was in California in the 1970s, but my mother was a child of the 50s, she was raised by v. religious and determined people who believed that they had found a more civilized way to live post WWII.

She certainly had a foot in the new ideas and expectations of that era but also was coming from a community so conventional that she told me all the girls in her senior class wore gold-crosses in their yearbook photos to show what good Christians they were. Even though she was but a teenager a world and culture away from how I grew-up, where even for girls virginity was seen as a kind of shameful thing. When I was a teenager that only meant no boy wanted you. I think I actually cut my mother more slack about the times and her obstacles than she does. I remember distinctly one time asking her if she couldn’t forgive herself more do to her lack of choices and her voice got real low and said, “No, no reason is good enough” which is challenging for me because her guilt leads to shame and her shame leads to me being treated as less than, not on purpose just because she does feel so bad about it. Which sucks because if my grandparents had been a bit more free-spirited none of this would have happened. I have to p.s. that with and I will not believe that had none of this ever happened that my sibs would not be born, from the beginning of time their have been step-parents and I do think her husband could have gotten over it. I have to say that for a reason that will become clear as I lay-out so arrogantly my rules for adoption blogging and privacy.

In part I am arrogant because despite some difficulties I think ultimately our experience was successful. If not always pleasant, if at times difficult, because every relationship that is intimate is at times difficult. I think it can be done with reform in mind without violating privacy of others.

So, the Joy of Adoption Blogging’s Rules:

1. No Pictures

No pictures without explicit permission. If the pictures are of your child and your child is not 21 they are not old enough to give permission. Being adopted carries a significant social stigma. Just today I flipped on the t.v. and it was Law and Order the plot: Adopted grandchild kills adoptive grandfather (Is there really such a thing as an adoptive grandfather, I mean the adoptive parents adopt, not the grandparents) his motivation: Not ever feeling like one of the family. Adoptees are suspect just because they are adoptees. As the only person I know who has for decades been aware of her adoption issues and kept quiet enough about them to not tell people who tell me “You are my best friend” I know what people who think they are “safe” say about adoptees. It is not pretty. You should never out an adoptee without their adult consent. I would imagine the same thing for natural parents. I may not say anything in real life, but I do listen hard, it does seem that adoptees bear the brunt of the stigma of being unwanted even more than the natural parents. If adoptee does not want to out themselves, respect that, they have to earn a living and I have never seen the stigma played out so hard as in the workplace, maybe datability, but mostly I have been attuned to the workplace. I am lucky, being female, men tend to have a thing for crazy-bitches.

DO NOT post recognizable face showing pictures of your adopted brat, just don’t. They can if they want to when they are old enough. Blurred out, back of the head, not googleable by employers, co-workers, mean girls, fine. Adoptees are going to have a hard enough time without their private details made as hit-getting blog fodder. And YES, I love pictures of cute kids as much as anyone. But restrain yourselves and think twice if you have a striking resemblance to your kid. Even a kid with the best of circumstances does not deserve to have the real meat of family life posted. If you just have a cutsey look at my kid in the pumpkin patch type blog, then okay, but no realness there, no intimate details, I can’t stress that enough.

2. No real names of others

This isn’t just your life, whoever you are you are part of a complex web of people, the adoptive parents, the other natural relatives and the siblings of the adoptee. The people they interact with. It is not cool for you to make their lives an open book. Avoid their names, I have never used Tomtom’s real name or real school or real town’s name. I have no right to invade his privacy that way. Nor do I have a right to invade my siblings privacy or their father’s or their mother’s or my own parents. I have struggled mightily with my step-father and his position on my place in my own family, at the same time I have never named him or where he worked or anything that anyone could identify him as. As much as I have been hurt by his behavior that doesn’t give me an excuse or a right to impact his personal life in that manner.

3. Remember It Is Your Perspective Do NOT speak for others

Our stories, and this blog is mostly focused on natural mothers and adoptees, those without cultural capital, not the adopters. Of course I realize from my adoptee perspective I am heavily centered on the adoptee experience. If you can find examples of me speaking for natural parents please email me the links or post in the comments. I try very hard to remember that I am speaking from my point of view about my own experience. Which is not my mothers, or my adoptive mothers, or my adoptive brothers or my sons. It is mine. I have been most offended and unwilling to forgive those in the blogosphere who speak for adoptees who are not adoptees. Especially those adopters and natural parents who tell me my pain is unreal, hysterical, akin to people who think they have been abducted by aliens or who are having affairs with Bigfoot. I didn’t have your experience and you do not have mine. Even if you are adopted yourself, I used to say that too! That it had no impact on me, well it did, and if I am the only one who was caused anguish that is interesting enough. I know that isn’t true because I do know others, but that is so disrespectful and so beyond the pale. I am adopted, therefore I am part of the adoptee experience, just as every adoptee and every adoptee story is. Adoptees are a primary source for the adoption experience and the fact that our biggest source of ridicule is both natural parents and adoptive parents and not outsiders is just shameful. I am disgusted that I have to fight so hard to just have the decent respect that any non-adopted person has as a birth-right, as they said in the Law and Order episode I referenced earlier to the murderous adoptee: Because for you there was no birth-right.

4. Even If You Are Given Explicit Permission

Check yourself. There was a blogger that got “eviscerated” to use Suz’s words for having pictures of her son on her blog. At the same time, every post she made about her son was about how contemptible he was, what a bad person he was and even calling her young grandchild an unpleasant brat. His profession was not even good enough for her. He was described as having a personality disorder, hello? That would be bad for employment, I cannot remember one kind thing being written about this poor man by his mother. This was a young man who was abandoned twice, his adoptive parents rejected him when he was twelve. I asked her once in the comments section what her expectation was, she answered me, I feel honestly, that he would say “I am fine, Mom, don’t worry” I mean of course that is paraphrased from my own memory, but really? That is not the way the world works, that is not why there is a whole field devoted to child development.

Babies need their mommies, that isn’t advanced math and children don’t cotton to abandonment and as far as evisceration goes, an abandoned twice child more than likely is going to have some serious problems, not because he is willful or a loser but because that is a traumatic experience that reoccurred. That is awfulness. But the mother considers herself the victim? When I read her blog she did not display any kind of nurturing or maternal feeling, which she may have and I may have missed. I saw self-centeredness, I saw self-concern and lack of empathy.

If I remember correctly, which I may not, she cut off contact because her son accused her of failing him. Um, didn’t she? As a mother of a child I did raise did I fail him? Yes, at times I did. That is kind of what parents do. Perhaps she could not see it that way because she herself was so traumatized by adoption. I can’t blame her for that, she couldn’t depersonalize it because having your baby taken from you can have such a self-esteem impact. Just guessing here, again I am not a mother who gave away her baby ever. But I am a mother who terminated a pregnancy or what feels more real to me, killed her baby. As an adoptee I found that more palatable, which per se is gross.

5. Ask Permission

One of the nice things that I did with my mom is that we would, upon writing a dodgy blog send it to each other via email and say, “I wrote this, what do you think?” If we thought it was getting too personal. My mother has made certain choices that the mainstream of society would be all nutty about, but I am not mainstream and don’t care as much but still I hide for the lack of desire to rile up people against her and she in the inverse about me. Ironically, it was never one of those blogs that got us all hot and bothered. It was the ones she thought or I thought wouldn’t that got us emailing a storm.

I am tired.

I will revisit this later. I will post me and Brad-the-bad-high-school-baseball-star-boyfriend-when I was in grade-seven-song.

OMG fucking Mullets!

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