So apparently Campbell has a blog up about what a naughty girl I am. Well I am sure it is fascinating in true Campbell insightful style, lollers but sorry cannot be bothered to care.
But as I understand it it MAC and Jess have taken to their beds like Camille reaching for their smelling salts because they feel they have every right to dismiss adoptees and ridicule them. How dare I give them a taste of their own medicine? How dare I?
And really it is not even a taste of their own medicine, I am not ridiculing the biggest pain of their lives, I am just ridiculing how they talk to us which makes them faint into a pool of self-pity. Boy their lives must be hard. Oh and I did make fun a little of the silly articles I saw Jess write on-line, apparently help for parents who are brain-dead, try taking your kid to a park? Oh thanks Jess, what is a park? I mean srsly. How is that not just anger against tree writing? I mean how is that not just the desire to kill more trees writing?
Okay, but I am stopping even though I was thinking what about a museum? Is a museum a good idea Jess? The bulk of my complaint is totally mild and is about how rude and dismissive they are to us, but they are the ones fainting and carrying on and weeping. FFS, how pathetic. Well Rick James called me and said, look bitches if you don’t want some blow-back stop being such assholes. I would tell them, but then we would be in for a whole new round of retribution and reaching to include others.
So I will be making their names unsearchable. Bitches are lucky they aren’t adoptees, we have to put up with people ridiculing the most tender parts of ourselves not just your dilemma, someone ridiculing your perceived right to ridicule your own child’s pain, what fragile creatures you are. But don’t despair, will make your name unrecognizable Jess so you can still attempt to parlay your child’s pain into a career. Fab.
Gotta go, BigFoot is here, we are having a tupperware party.
Maryanne apologized long ago on my blog and she is now apologizing on Campbell’s blog but I haven’t seen an apology where it should matter, here on your blog to you. Did I miss that? That would seem to make sense.
When people sincerely apologize, I give them the benefit of the doubt.
And her statements were incorrect regardless. I believe in P.W. and I’ve never seen bigfoot, had a drug problem or gotten a divorce. *Shrug*
p.s. I think someone has a crush on you, Joy. What is this, her fourth blog post dedicated to you? Somebody is crushing hard. It’s kind of sweet.
Her half-assed apologies mean nothing to me, I have also seen her claim it was a joke, a joke without a funny part I guess. Maybe I have no sense of humor, I don’t know cleaning up your friends blood stains can make you all grudgy and unlaughy though. Blood smells bad.
I have done drugs, yum, and divorced and it made me happy, that is not the measure of a person whatever MAC thinks, I do not think I did drugs because I was adopted as much as hello? They were superfun that is why people do them and I got divorced because well I suck as a wife but my ndad sucks as a husband and he didn’t have to be adopted to suck. Even people who aren’t adopted can suck eggs.
People are always crushing on me, yes it is sweet. I too can deal with apologies but have never gotten one, and the BigFoot jackassery wasn’t her first attempt to roll me over and crush me, I talked to her in a sincere and reasonable way until it was clear it was a waste of energy. And now she is all butt-hurt because I was all, “Sorry MAC-ATTACK, not in the mood to be steam-rolled and crushed, in the mood to choke you out, metaphorically of course. Adoptees aren’t supposed to do that you know, we are supposed to tell you that we like being treated like shit and we understand their need to do that.
I didn’t get that memo.
p.s. haven’t read the apology on Campbell’s blog, I find Campbell to be exceedingly uninteresting, sorry just don’t feel it. I don’t even disagree with her about most things just it is like reading dust to me.
I know, I really am a bitch, once in high school this girl came up to me and my bestie and tried to you know relate to us, I looked at her and said, “um don’t you have some eye shadow you need to reapply?” Campbell brings out that side of me, that mean girl side that wants to say, “Do we have a class together or something because I don’t understand why you are talking to me” side.
Which for the most part is dead if not dormant in me, although a good case of orange blush has brought it out, and Campbell.
I find Campbell fascinating for her steadfast earnestness, although I find it narrow minded and somewhat misguided.
I do enjoy reading her blog because most of her posts are reactions to other people she disagrees with. There is not really much meat to it other than that she is angry with people who challenge her beliefs and so-called friendships.
*Shrug*
I hope you do not think I was being smug or snarky in my comments about being a PW believer who is not drug addicted or divorced.
I don’t judge. I don’t care. And like you said, there are many non-adopted people who believe in bigfoot, do drugs and have been divorced.
In fact, that was my entire point… the judgement of her comments. Another judgement of adoptees.
And yet, we are not to judge first mothers for the decisions they have made in life. We are always to accept and love and forgive or face their ire and punishment.
Once again, hypocrisy rears it’s ugly head in adoptoland.
I don’t buy it.
Maryanne did apologize on my blog but as I told her then, I never thought *I* was the one she should be apologizing to.
It would be nice if everyone could get along. I think we could get a lot more things done that way.
Oh no, I know you, you are a good friend to me and we love Anthropologie because we need $1200.00 chairs that may give you tetanus. I didn’t take it that way, I have just seen MAC-ATTACK criticize people for doing things like that and “blaming it all on adoption” which you know, is an attitude I find puritanical and stupid.
Life is fraught with difficulty by the very nature of it, to be alive is to struggle, to compete for resources, whether you are a human or a grasshopper or a cat, every creature has struggles, that is nothing to be ashamed of and that people think they have a right to shame others for not meeting their ridiculous expectations is even sillier. We all try, we all fuck up and then get up and try again.
Some of the most beautiful angelic people I have known were druggies, it is human nature to want to experience altered consciousness, some people do it through meditation or religion there is nothing sinister about wanting to experience an altered state of consciousness. Lots of very bright people credit drug use with their success.
MAC won’t apologize to me because she is not sorry, I don’t believe she is sorry now as much as self-pitying because I am saying that what she did was fucked-up, is fucked-up and I have seen her continue to try to mash adoptees in the mud. It is like someone being a racist and then expecting the people they were discriminating against make it easier for the perpetrator. Whatevs, I am not here to be MAC-ATTACKS punching bag. She wants to ridicule the most difficult thing I personally have experienced, well turn-about is fair play. I am not even ridiculing her challenges just her attitudes.
Yes Joy you are so mean. I’ll never forget how mean you were when you gave that guy in SA bus fare without even flinching. I would have kept walking, but you didn’t. That changed me.
I forget to tell you this, but when I was in NYC a well dressed, not scary, woman came up to me, her purse had been stolen. No money, no phone, no nothing. She had asked a dozen people or so for help, money to get a subway ticket back to Brooklyn, I think it was. I helped her out, of course, it was simple act of kindness.
xoxoxop
oh you are sweet, and you are cryptifying ? Because I don’t remember that person, but I remember someone else…
It takes a WHOLE lot to make me flinch, I guess that is the benefit of experience. Where I live I see so much real suffering on a day to day basis it is hard for me to work out a tear for those whose biggest scourge is someone telling them they don’t have the right to mock the experiences of others.
Just yesterday, I was walking down the street and an older woman with a walker and an oxygen tank approached me and out of her garish mouth howled into my face and I saw that she was missing most of her teeth, “Please Help ME!” and then she yelled after me, “but you are so pretty!” which was weird like you can just rub some pretty on a person and then everything is okay?
And I don’t flinch, but I feel it, for sure I feel it, this world is a rough place to be in and I feel guilty sometimes for just having a house and a nice bed and nice food and you know all my bling from the Goodwill. It struggle sucks but I don’t see a way around it. it terrifies me and breaks my heart though every day even as I rush by.
I read Campbell’s post and didn’t infer that it was about you. What makes you think it is?
Oh just getting this right before I go to bed, short answer would be history. I will give a longer answer after some rest.
Someone suggested it was to me, that is how I heard about it. Campbell has a history of trying to police adoptees who don’t feel like she does and then feels victimized by those of us that don’t fall into line and blames us for not getting on with her. It is really not that interesting, you know she came to our forum ages ago and was rude and condescending and told stories that seemed like outright fabrications, although I kind of get why it was just weird and some of the things she said made people really uncomfortable. But I don’t think those things were true as much as she was trying to impress on us her point of view. I don’t want to repeat them in public because I don’t think she was thinking things through when she said them and I *think* what was hyperbole on her part just didn’t translate the way she thought it would.
But then after she insulted people her response was that we were all jerks and we can’t think for ourselves and we, we, we are very bad adoptees and people and whatnot. You know it had nothing to do with her behavior, at least according to her. And she aligned herself with like-minded people who seek to villianize us, mock and degrade us for trying to figure out just what happened in our own lives. The “mean” posts I have made of late, if you read critically are only complaining about how dismissive some people are to others circumstances. They feel they have the absolute right to be so really horrible so much so that they are outraged when I say, “No” and call me names.
It is called scapegoating, it is a favorite theme in adoption.
Idk, does that make sense? I mean Campbell does what she does, as far as I know it is mostly complain, so I don’t know what to do with that. But I am failing to be very interested, or interested at all.
Megan, I have to agree with Joy about the history part. There isn’t proof, but…
There is precedence for needling and saying, “Oh, I am well adjusted, I don’t make mountains out of molehills like some of YOU, like you CHILDREN, you BULLIES.”
There was one incident last spring/early summer when I was really low. My ngrandmother was turning 90, my nmom wasn’t speaking to me, my brother was not in communication with me, and I was not invited to the big family birthday party to celebrate. Okay, I understand why that was on a rational level. I really do, but on an emotional level, it was very, very hard for me. I *want* to belong to the family on this emotional level. I think that maybe some adoptees don’t understand this emotional level and think it’s silly. It’s not the PW, but it’s still this sense of connection. I felt cast out at that time, exiled, truly abandoned and thrust out of the family I had been born into, once again. I went skating with my kids on the day of the party, to distract myself, and fucking broke my arm. I wrote about my experience on my blog, about how I was devastated. It was awful.
Coincidentally (or not!) Campbell posted something about people having to let go of their childish ways, and wrote something about “Husha, husha, we all fall down.” I took it personally, as another attack from that group that believes the PW is shit, that adoptees need to grow up and accept we aren’t entitled to our feelings, that the rational always trumps the emotional. Pain also led me to think “husha, husha” sounded a whole lot like “shut up.” Even my seven-year-old agreed. So it wasn’t rocket science. We’ve always said “Ashes, ashes” in my neck of the woods, anyway.
So Campbell pulled out the victim card, said that I had made it all up and was mean, as I am sure she is saying that Joy is making up any reference to herself regarding the current post, or is giggling with the cabal behind closed doors.
Jess and Maryanne and Kippa and Campbell have their own families and their own problems; let them bother their own people. If they want to mock, they just end up looking like assholes, to me and to a lot of other people. I am not hurt by them anymore because I have my nfamily on my side. And you know, I made it through. My nfamily and I are talking and *they* are the important thing: they and adoptees who are shut down. I am not giving up on our OBCs and activism.
Oh, and before you say it, Jess, “This is rich, even for ME, Ms. Marginalia.” But it’s all TRUE.
Oh I remember the glee they took in that.
Bother, why? For someone that is so happy she sure seems to have a lot of grousing to do where compassion should belong.
I would like to have compassion for her but Jeebus, it doesn’t happen fast enough I mean there are so many other kittens mewing. Idk, I find that idea as fascinating as explaining to someone how the world, ‘may not be flat’ I mean I have done my time, let someone else at the office buy her Girl-Scout cookies. FFS.
Forgive me, I’m still trying to put the puzzle pieces together on what sounds like a complex dynamic. If you are failing to be interested, then why blog about it?